Crossed Wires
By Lewis Richmond
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29th October 7:33am
Words. Speak words. Of comfort. Say something! Something to make it right. Nothing can be Right. Just speak- words. What do I say to that? No one to blame, no reason. No way to bring back What was lost. There’s no one. I can’t blame you. How can I? I just have to love you. Just hold you. For better For worse. |
29th October 7:33am
You hold me. tight. What else can you do? I don’t have the strength to grip you. But you don’t let go. Don’t ever let go. You hold me together. |
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5th November 8:33pm
‘You gotta eat something’ I say ‘Not hungry’ ‘But the doctor says you have to try and eat when you get home so you don’t get taken in again. Just try and-‘ It’s no use. She don’t hear me. She just sits at the square table that will ever be for two. Looking at nothing with an intense -yet defeated- stare of brokenness. Exhaustion Emptiness. Pain. Pity fills my eyes as I look to my love. I walk out the door, leaving it creaking behind me Words are worthless. January 12th 1:02am
I pinch, push struggle. But it’s no use. My hands are tied and it’s no use. My hands are tied and I can’t break free. My hands are tied. Suddenly I walk through the hospital corridor pacing up and down. Alone. Waiting. Pacing up and down. Then I see her. Bare and broken. My wife. I run to be by her side but I cannot get there. My heart tears. I run and run and run…… May 8th 6:02pm
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5th November 8:33pm
‘You gotta eat something’ he says ‘Not hungry’ I reply. ‘But the doctor says you have-‘ his words fade. Just an inaudible hum reaches my eardrums somewhat soothing my mind. But the pain comes surging back in full force ripping me inside. Soothe me with you words. I beg of you… speak away The Pain. I look to my love and see eyes that I have never seen before. It scares me. What is this look- a look of resentment. For what I did. January 12th 1:02am
Cries of innocence fill my ears. Light flashes in every direction piercing through my eyelids, held tightly together. Then darkness. Then silence. No more crying. As I open my eyes, I sit in a white room. I see my family, my husband. All standing pointing at me. As if I as the reason for the silence. As if I caused the pain etched across their faces. May 8th 6:02pm
Three days since he told me he loves me. Weeks since I’ve tasted his lips. An eternity since we’ve been- Together. As I poke at my meal with my fork, I gaze at a man turned so cold. As we sit in silence. I stare at an empty illusion, sitting in this three bedroom house all alone. You can’t even look at me. I disgust you. For what I couldn’t control. I’ve lost you to your own grief. |
